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Various Pieces
Anyone, Frank, Tomm, Channeled by Annette
Annette/Anyone: Sunday, April 30, 2000 -- 19:24-20:35
[It's my habit to begin a session by mentally calling out names. Until this time I'd used "Anyone" just in case a spook with whom I wasn't yet familiar wanted to type. Well, this time the spook's name was "Anyone."]
Annette: Frank? Tallulah? Anyone?
Anyone: Hello this is Anyone.
Annette: Huh? Smartass!
Anyone: You have questions?
Annette: Always! The more I know, the more I want to know. You know that!
Anyone: :>) Yes you are a curious one.
Annette: This is starting to look like pun and riddle night.
Anyone: You like those games, right?
Annette: :>) Yes.
Anyone: Questions?
Annette: It seems we're backed in a corner with the biz, or getting close to it. Lots to do, little time to do it. And now it looks like the [contractor] is a flop. Part of me wants to know why, in order to avoid the same issues again. But mostly I wanna make this work.
Anyone: You still have conflicting feelings about making it work.
Annette: OK. But I've had conflicting feelings before and made things work.
Anyone: And was that as high-stakes as this?
Annette: No. Well, maybe close. This seems the most high-stakes because it's NOW, because I don't want to reinvent this wheel yet again, because I want to work for me not someone else.
Anyone: So this "feels" like the most high-stakes game you've played?
Annette: Right now, yes.
Anyone: Do you suppose that you might think that you must pay dearly with a period of uncomfortableness and scarcity in order to deserve the high payoff.
Annette: No so much these days. But some of that thinking must (may) still linger?
Anyone: Must? May? Does it or doesn't it?
Annette: OK. Let's say it does.
Anyone: That sounds like a "maybe."
Annette: OK. It does.
Anyone: OK. You are aware of it. What will you do with the awareness?
Annette: Toss the notion overboard?
Anyone: OK and then?
Annette: I think I'll watch it dissolve and morph into success.
Anyone: And that success will look like...?
Annette: A biz of lively and profitable projects.
Anyone: Does that seem like fun?
Annette: Yes! I feel we're holding ourselves back.
Anyone: "We?"
Annette: Yes.
Anyone: You know better than that. You are only responsible for your own creations. Others agree to participate in any venture for their own reasons.
Annette: OK. I'll now say I feel I'm holding myself back. And I'm disappointed in myself to think it's because I don't want the responsibility of success.
Anyone: And what responsibilities of success do you find unattractive?
Annette: The very thing I'm faced with right now with [contractor] -- he doesn't seem to listen, his work so far is unsatisfactory and I'll likely need to terminate the relationship. Leaving us right where we were several weeks ago.
Anyone: So, you now have the issues without the success?
Annette: Oh shit! So, I've formed the "issues" but not the payoff. How backasswards is that? OK. I see that the two aren't necessary related. And the payoff is in the future, not now.
Anyone: :>) See how perceptive you are? [pause]
Annette: Yeah, sometimes.
Anyone: We'd say more than sometimes. Now, does this help with resolving those conflicting feelings?
Annette: Yes. Thank you.
Anyone: Anytime.
Annette/Frank: Mon, Oct 30, 2000 - 01:48-02:02
Annette: Frank? Tomm? Anyone?
Frank: Good morning!
Annette: Hi Frank. I've long considered myself fearless, courageous, etc. What's with all this doubt crap?
Frank: While you recognized "fears," you did not recognize doubts as a less intense fear. You took the doubts to be protective measures. Protecting you from perceived future discomfort. Some of them moving you into a state of near paralysis.
Annette: So, is it necessary to "root out" all these conflicting beliefs and replace them? Can't one simply choose a new belief and go with that?
Frank: Well, if you recognize a belief as new, are you not recognizing that there's an old one where this new one might reside? Difficulties with conflicting beliefs arise when a "new" belief is adopted and at the same time the "old" one is kept.
Annette: OK. That makes sense.
Annette/Frank: Sun, Nov 26, 2000 - 18:28-18:41
Annette: Frank?
Frank: This is Frank. Good evening.
Annette: Hi Frank! What's with all the little irritating twists in F1 today? I know one answer is choice but that's too pat.
Frank: Well, it may be pat, but that doesn't change the answer. It's still "choice."
Annette: So, I chose to be irritated—annoyed.
Frank: Yes. So long as you see chores and errands as annoyances, they are.
Annette: I've tried to make them fun. I suppose now you'll say I haven't allowed them to be fun.
Frank: OK. I'll say it. You haven't allowed them to be fun. They are work and must be taken very seriously, according to your rules.
Annette: There's no way out of this one, is there?
Annette/Tomm: Wed, Jul 4, 2001 - 08:35-10:35
Annette: Frank? Tomm? Anyone?
Tomm: Good morning. This is Tomm.
Annette: Hi Tomm! As you may know yesterday's experience with the cloud during my break and the exercise later is on my mind.
Tomm: Yes. Please describe how you felt, what you experienced.
Annette: Well, J.H. and I were playing. I'd sent him the fireworks story. Then we both went searching on the internet for fireworks like were described in the story. We found lots of neat websites with movies and sounds. Then it hit me that there we were sitting at our computers rather vicariously enjoying fireworks. I felt a little sad about it, that rather than direct experience, we were experiencing sort of indirectly. Even though I focused in closely on the movies and graphics, and with imagination added additional detail, the experience was a bit flat. Anyhow, I felt a yen for direct experience. I went outside for a smoke. I gazed at the sky. I don't recall what I was thinking about besides possibly fireworks and internet experience. I noticed the lightly colored swept kind of cloud directly in front of me. After having read the section in "Illusions" the other day about dissolving clouds, I tried it last week and it worked -- much to my delight. I've also been playing with the notion of forming non-5-sense info into something perceivable with the F1 senses, per recent exercises. So, this time I allowed the cloud of interest to do whatever it would do. Altered my 'state of mind' and focused on the cloud. The colors intensified, displaying a rainbow of color. It occurred to me that the color display was you, Tomm. I don't know where the idea came from. It was an intuition. So, I asked the cloud, "Is that you, Tomm." The answer was "Yes." I immediately began discounting. "I'm making that up," I told myself. Besides, if an energy being is going to manifest itself to me, why wouldn't it be Frank or Anyone? When I pointed out the colored cloud to J.J., he gave me a scientific response -- "must be ice crystals in that cloud." "Yeah," I thought, there's often an cause/effect reason for magical phenomena. I watched the cloud some more. The colors intensified more. Again, I asked if it was Tomm. Again the answer was "Yes." "Yeah. OK," I thought. Somewhat surprised that I sensed that the light energy was Tomm. Surprised that I asked if it was. And surprised at the answer. But it was 'work time' and I 'should' be at my desk. I went back into the dark room (we keep it dimly lit). Since I'd been gazing at brightly lit clouds, I could hardly see. It took a few minutes before I could see the objects in my cubical. I didn't think about the experience again until John/Tomm gave the first exercise last night. I was blown away that so many of the symbols used were the same as the afternoon's experience -- the clouds (again I typed 'could'), energy clouds, recognizing some as aspects we channel, some reaching out to us, ...
Tomm: [smiling] Many facets of this experience are significant to you now. We do reach out to you, as you reach out to us. This is an agreement we've made. Others have channeled information on this. You can choose to interpret the colored cloud as us reaching out to you, or you can interpret it as ice crystals. Or, this is important, BOTH.
Annette: So, was it you, Tomm, reaching out to me?
Tomm: Of course. For the most part, you resist by procrastination.
Annette: Well, I'm somewhat confused. Consciously, I don't recall a strong desire to channel. I don't recall saying to myself, "I want to channel." I feel it's something I experienced others doing, wondered if I could do it, and with the assistance of others, did/do it.
Tomm: [smiling] Yes. We have been somewhat tricky with you. Playing on your curiosity and sense of adventure. You, of course, are not alone in not remembering the agreements. You will remember them. [my ears, which were a bit plugged up such that sound was a bit muffled, just cleared] In order to experience a lifetime which included 'separation,' then moving step-by-step through the spectrum to 'oneness' or 'integration,' is was necessary to 'forget' or 'hide' the agreements. Most of you who wrote such a blueprint can pinpoint the time of the most separation. Some may find several such time coordinates. You will find rippling out from those points, points along the way to now that mark moving away from separation. We digress.
You are particularly sensitive to experience that you might feel is imposed. Many times you resist because you want to consciously choose each experience. This gets in the way of allowing. You might feel such experience is 'imposed' because you've forgotten/hidden the choice to channel from yourself. Now, this is the reason we explain many things in terms of left brain and right brain (LB and RB) -- or some dualistic analogy such as inner ego/outer ego. Your inner selves are presenting you with experiences (such as yesterday's, the synch experiment, sensing exercises, dreams, etc.) that show the choices that were unapparent to what we've called LB. Your experience yesterday included to elements that made discounting exceedingly difficult. 1) someone else witnessed the colored cloud 2) the exercise that came later was from the same template/model.
Annette: Tomm, I'm 'getting' several concepts at once here and feeling that we're skipping around.
Tomm: Yes. [smiling] You want to make sure you record them all. You really hate to miss anything. Please focus on one at a time. Our (yours, mine, our colleagues) purpose in explaining using LB/RB models, or separation of aspects using channels, is to foster understanding/knowing, not to categorize or label. In order to explain separation to separated facets of your aspect, we use these models. [Argh! now I've got a concept that won't go into words.] We can leave it at that for now.
Annette: I'm losing focus on this session.
Tomm: Yes. We will wrap up today by saying that we (you, me, other incarnate and disincarnate aspects) to one another. Many ask what we (channels like Tomm) get out of this. You share your experience with us. We truely enjoy your experiences.
Annette: Thank you, Tomm.
Tomm: You are welcome. |
